Head on over to RoqooDepot.com where we’ve begun a humorous contest to see who can photobomb the internet the best, with #LeiasLeftLeg!
Happy Star Wars Day, and May the Fourth Be With You!
Head on over to RoqooDepot.com where we’ve begun a humorous contest to see who can photobomb the internet the best, with #LeiasLeftLeg!
Happy Star Wars Day, and May the Fourth Be With You!
It’s getting closer to the end of the week (thank goodness) and for Star Wars fans everywhere this is a very exciting time. This Friday, May 4, is what many have deemed international ‘Star Wars Day!’ Why May 4? Because what better way to pay homage to George Lucas’ continuously growing franchise than to say ‘May the fourth be with you!’
If you’re like me, than Star Wars Day is a date that just happens to creep up on you every year. With April finally coming to a close, and the spring weather rearing its head, it’s not always easy to remember May 4. Lucky for you, I have put together some tips, tricks and ideas on how to celebrate Star Wars Day, no matter if you remember on May 3, or the day of! Read more…
Over the weekend I was able to see the premier of Morgan Spurlock’s latest film, Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope in Washington, DC. Spurlock himself was attending the last two showings of the evening, but tickets were sold out for both of them.
As a fan of all things ‘cosplay, sci-fi and video games’ and a regular convention attendee, I was very excited to know that a well known filmmaker such as Morgan Spurlock would choose to create a documentary about Comic-Con. Unfortunately, the film didn’t exceed my expectations, but nor did it fail to meet them. Read more…
Recently, AureliaDiesel contributed to a dialogue piece posted on the blog, Roqoo Depot.
The article is, ‘The Mara Catsuit Dilemma’, and it is about the controversy surrounding the Star Wars Expanded Universe character, Mara Jade Skywalker.
Read the full article here.
GMS stands for “Geek Menstrual Syndrome”. It is the feeling that one is having PMS, onset by experiencing the stupidities of society. While the symptoms of “PMS” can include feelings of tiredness, pain, and weight gain, GMS symptoms are typically less physical than the symptoms of PMS. Possible GMS symptoms include: feelings of confusion, frustration, anger, anxiety and a need to rant/voice your opinions strongly.
This week’s GMS is onset by – spoilers on the internet.
Spoilers seem to be magnetically drawn to me. I don’t know where they come from, I don’t know how I found them, yet they always manage to find me at the worst possible time. Why is this? IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF THE INTERNET. When I was in 4th grade, basically the entire 6th Harry Potter book (the Half-Blood Prince) was spoiled for me. The first thing that I learned after this episode is that you can’t trust a 9 year old to be mature about, well, anything! — and that they rarely understand the importance of surprise plot twists (and keeping them secret).
Since I was young, I’ve always been respectful when it came to spoiling things for other people. You know the phrase, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”? Well if you don’t want something spoiled for you, don’t spoil it for me! I still remember being dumbstruck (in 4th grade!) when kids would do their book reports live in front of the class, and include CHARACTER DEATHS in their report. Again, what is this lack of respect for plot lines and story telling?
Now, you’re probably thinking, “Aurelia, you’re basing your opinion on 9 year olds! That’s ridicuous!”. *Sigh*…if only that where true.
As my peers matured and the people around me became less interested in blurting out major spoilers, I thought I had reached a point where I could finally read in peace. Well, that didn’t last long.
Thanks to things like fanfiction, wikipedia and forums, I discovered a whole new ‘spoiler paradise’ – INTERNET SPOILERS.
Books, video games, movies, television – You name it, the internet spoiled it for me. Now, that’s not to say that the spoilers I came across spoiled entire plot lines for me. I’ve still managed to enjoy many of the books, video games and media I’ve experienced. But still, THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED.
With that being said, I am not anti-spoiler. Back when I went through a soap opera phase (ahem…General Hospital) I did read the online spoiler sites and bought the ‘spoiler’ magazines. The only difference is, not only are spoilers part of the soap opera experience, but I was actually LOOKING for the spoilers. What I can’t stand, is harmlessly indulging in some internet trash about you’re favorite new video game or manga, and then suddenly someone decides to just write a major spoiler, WITHOUT A SPOILER WARNING. Even when I write reviews, I try to put spoiler warnings where necessary, or I don’t even include spoilers. Can these ‘spoiler’ people on the internet just show consideration for the many other people surfing the web, and put a WARNING. And when I mean warning, I mean an actual WARNING. Sometimes…ok, rarely…people on forums where put (excuse my french) half-ass spoiler warnings before their post. These lousy spoiler ‘tags’ are normally lowercase, and no effort is put in to make sure there is a gap between the spoilers and the spoiler warning. The best spoiler warnings I’ve seen? When someone types spoilers in all uppercase letters, and then the spoiler is hidden so that you have to highlight the text in order to see the spoiler. You want to see my example? Let me show you the proper format when dealing with spoilers -
I really love it when people comment.
*AURELIADIESEL SPOILER ENDS*
Alright, maybe that was a bad example, but will someone please tell me how I can change the background color of the text in WordPress? I would really like to properly demonstrate this!
Anyways, I think you get the picture. I am proposing a proper STANDARD for spoilers across the internet. This is no different than something like MLA Format, because there is a need for this! I suggest this format be used for ANY type of spoiler ANYWHERE – articles (because yes, even article writers will occasionally spoil their readers!!), forums, blogs, YOUTUBE COMMENTS (yes, I’m looking at YOU, youtube) and more.
You know a movie is bad, when you have no idea where to start when reviewing it. That’s EXACTLY what the problem with the Phantom Menace is. It is so BAD, I feel like all the bad just cancels each other out, creating one big ‘nothing’. Really.
I think I’ll just start with the storyline because George Lucas should know better. We start out the movie with the classic Star Wars opening ‘crawl’. Basically, we learn that something is going on with the galactic trade routes, and the Trade Federation has a blockade around the planet of Naboo, stopping all shipping to the planet (sounds SO interesting, right?) Oh, and two Jedi are on their way to peacefully ‘resolve’ the matter. You know a movie’s going to be bad when even the opening is slow. Obi-Wan’s quote in the beginning of the film, “I have a bad feeling about this,” is just Ewan McGregor warning us about the turmoil ahead. After only about 3 minutes of slow-as-molasses storytelling, we finally get to see the all-mighty Jedi. You know – the slow talking, clueless type. Qui-Gon Jinn (played by Liam Neeson) and Obi-Wan Kenobi make the lamest entrance possible, with absolutely no action. They simply dock their ship, and SIT. That’s it. They SIT. And that’s what they do virtually the entire film. Even if they’re standing up, or ‘running’ it feels as though their sitting. Every single scene is just slow. SO SLOW. I just-I have no words. The rest of the plot unfolds like this – the Jedi fail, badly, at resolving the conflict with the Trade Federation. Then, they run into…dare I say it…Jar-Jar Binks (the not-so-phantom menace), then they find the Queen of Naboo (taken hostage during the Trade Federation’s invasion of Naboo), and while escorting her to Coruscant, they end up having to land on Tattooine. Here, they meet the slave, Anakin Skywalker (the chosen one), he wins a podrace, Qui-Gon Jinn gets him freed from slavery, leaving behind Anakin’s mother in the process. Then, they finally get to Coruscant and some confusing, uninteresting stuff happens and people sit around on cheap couches and discuss politics. Then, the Queen of Naboo decides to go back to “be with her people” and this is (finally) the beginning of the end of the movie. The Queen makes peace with the Gungans, who ‘aid’ her in the struggle to get her planet back from the Trade Federation. And then at some point, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fight Darth Maul (who makes like 3 cameos through out the whole movie). Maul kills Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan kills Maul. Obi-Wan promises Qui-Gon to train Anakin to become a Jedi, which he does…and then there’s a cheesy parade at the end where the Queen hands the Gungan leader a glowing, CGI-generated ball. Yup, there’s the entire 2+ hour film. I’m falling asleep just thinking about it.
Other than how lousy the script and plot is, the acting is terrible. In fact, there is NO acting. None whatsoever. I refuse to believe Liam Neeson was even in this film. It was actually his untalented, evil twin brother from hell, “Lame” Neeson. Ewan McGregor’s portrayal of young Obi-Wan Kenobi is weak, and he comes across as an annoying, whiny character – at least during the few times he actually gets to speak. George Lucas seems to have a habit of creating whiny characters, as this is one of the biggest problems with Anakin Skywalker in the next 2 films. Now, I have never been a real Padmé Amidala fan, but why couldn’t Natalie Portman just show a little enthusiasm for her character? The same goes for Keira Knightley, whose portrayal of Padmé’s body double could put to sleep even the most die-hard Star Wars fan. Also, who cast Jake Lloyd for Anakin Skywalker? I get that the script was awful and the kid didn’t have much to work with, but geez, he’s supposed to be the ‘Jesus Christ’ of The Force! If this is George Lucas’s idea of a ‘prophecy child’, I can’t imagine how he’d do a film based on the Bible (and no, that is not a challenge, that last thing this world needs is George Lucas’s take on religion). And, are you telling me Anakin’s mother, Shmi, is a ‘virgin mother’? She treated Anakin as if he was just some kid living in her house! Again – NO WORDS to describe this movie, absolutely NONE. And, forgive me, but Samuel Jackson as Mace Windu makes me laugh. All he does is stroke his chin. I can’t take a single scene with him in it seriously, and a “Snakes on a Plane” reference is always too fitting to pass up.
Oh, and another thing about this film. It has virtually NO genre. The Teletubbies tv show was more science-fiction than this. I have dubbed it “lifestyle” because it seems to be the only thing that will fit. This movie fits right alongside a ‘Toddlers & Tiaras’ marathon on TLC. I’ve seen better acting on QVC. Did NO ONE tell George Lucas how much this movie sucked while filming it? I don’t know about you, but if my work was as bad as the Phantom Menace, I’d want someone to tell me. Anyway, I now understand why my “Star Wars” movie marathons were always so unsuccessful. It is IMPOSSIBLE to get through the first chronological film (and the 2nd, if you’re really hyped-up on caffeine and last more than 2 hours). In fact, since George Lucas likes to change things so much, I give him permission to re-do the prequel trilogy (or at least the Phantom Menace), on ONE condition – he neither writes, nor directs it. In fact, he should have no involvement at all. I don’t know why seeing this in the movie theater actually made it WORSE of a film for me, it seriously made me question my love of Star Wars. I just can’t accept this movie as real. I just can’t. I was waiting for someone to come and tell me I’d been Punk’d. I think the majority of Star Wars fans have been waiting for that moment for 13 years now. Can George Lucas just come out and tell us that this movie was all a prank? And that the actual version is yet to be released? PLEASE!
There are only a few reasons why I was excited for The Phantom Menace (and the Star Wars movies) to be re-released in 3D: 1) The chance to see Star Wars on the big screen, and 2) To see it in 3D. Other than that, I wasn’t too enthusiastic about seeing the actual movie. I was more enthusiastic about what I hoped would be an experience – A Star Wars movie, in 3D, on the big screen.
I wasn’t that old when the Phantom Menace came out in 1999, so I wasn’t one of the many disappointed fans who went to see it in theaters. I’d only seen the film once (or twice?) before viewing it last night. I remembered a lot that happened in the movie, however there was one thing I had forgotten – just how bad Episode 1 really is.
Before seeing it in 3D, I warned my “viewing party” that the Phantom Menace isn’t that good, at all. As I walked out of the theater, completely dumbfounded by the monstrosity I had just witnessed, it hit me just how much George Lucas killed with this film. Words can’t describe all the problems with this movie. The script is, well, trash. The dialogue is awful. The acting…there is none. And don’t get me started on those Gungans. Argh! Why, George Lucas, why! *facepalm* *headbang* *gains composure before continuing…*
I can’t tell you how much I tried to enjoy this movie. I kept trying, and trying. But there really are no redeeming qualities that could persuade me to watch Episode 1 again. Never again will I watch it, for fear of losing my sanity.
But, of course, the film wasn’t just any disaster, it was a 3D disaster. Mark my words – there is no 3D in this movie. None, zero, zilch. Don’t go see it for the 3D, just don’t. Our tickets (for 4 people) cost over $50. In fact, just don’t go see it at all. I haven’t seen any full-blown 3D movies (and after the Phantom Menace, I still haven’t), but the 3D movie trailers before the film looked fantastic. I was actually getting excited! Then, the movie started. I could have taken the glasses off for the entire film and not noticed a difference. Even the pod race (which I was excited to see in 3D) looked flat. This was the most 2D, 3D I have ever seen. In fact, this movie isn’t even 2D, it’s 1D. There is 1 dimension during the whole film – and it’s George Lucas chuckling to himself that he’s managed to profit off of this defecation. To sum up my opinion of the film, I have learned one thing – crap will look like crap no matter what dimension you convert it too. 1D, 2D, 3D – this film sucks.
On a side note, the Cartoon Network, Star Wars: the Clone Wars trailers before the film did look exciting, and you can tell that the animation has improved significantly. However, with how much money we spent on the tickets, I would have liked more than 2 seconds of “sneak peek” footage.
Also, if you really want to see a Star Wars film in the theaters, I suggest waiting for the Original Trilogy to be re-released. The 3D may evidently suck in those films too, but at least Star Wars fans can appreciate watching the “originals.” Personally, I would like George Lucas to re-release the Original Trilogy in the “unaltered” versions, though I doubt that will happen.
(Stay tuned for Part 2 of my review, where I re-live the pain and horror of the Phantom Menace, and truly review the actual film)
Star Wars: Death Troopers is a novel written by Joe Schreiber. Marketed as being the first Star Wars “horror” novel, Death Troopers tells the story of a mysterious but lethal virus that infects both an Imperial Star Destroyer and an Imperial prison barge. When this virus is passed from the Star Destroyer to the prison barge, all but six people are killed – while the majority are turned into horrific, flesh-eating zombies.
I wouldn’t describe this book as being very ‘scary’. However, I would not recommend it for younger Star Wars fans. Death Troopers is gory, if nothing else. After reading the novel, I’m not really sure how I feel about mixing Star Wars and the horror genre. That’s not saying that a ‘scary’ Star Wars story couldn’t be a good addition to the franchise. It’s just that this particular book wasn’t executed well. I don’t know what the idea behind this book was, but it really just comes across as an excuse to write a gruesome Star Wars novel – and I think that was all the author intended it to be.
For starters, the storyline itself is mediocre and lacks intrigue. Just from the cover (and summary on the back of the book), we can already tell that this is going to be a story about zombies/the undead. And that really is the entire story. It’s nothing but a bunch of zombies. The book itself is not that long (less than 300 pages) and it reads more like a short story than a novel. The chapters are extremely short, as there are 44 chapters in all. The build-up to the “horror” is slow and obvious. The reader is already aware of the “zombie” factor, so there is nothing truly surprising throughout the story. Maybe I’m just not a fan of this particular genre, but what is so intriguing about reading a book that you know is about zombies, where mostly everyone turns into a zombie, and then only a few people spend most of the book running from these zombies? The zombies end up becoming more critical to the story than the main characters, and there are only so many ways you can describe disturbing images of the undead. They’re dead, they’re bloody and they’re gross-looking: I get it.
The characters in the book are okay, but they’re nothing to get attached to. As for the interests of female Star Wars fans, this book seems to be more directed towards a male audience. There is only one female character in the entire book. The biggest problem with this character is that, though she is somewhat likable, she really takes on the role of “attractive, motherly figure.” Strange, but that’s really what she is.
Han Solo and Chewbacca do play a role in this book. However since the story provides little to no character development, their presence can really be reduced to insignificance. Why Han and Chewie were written into a horror novel, I have no idea. We already know what happens to these characters, so if they survive, it won’t be surprising!
(END OF SPOILERS)
In conclusion, this book just isn’t good. The action is written poorly, the story drags on, and the repetitive descriptions of “decayed flesh” and “dried blood” become an annoyance to the reader. There is a second Star Wars “horror” novel written by Joe Schreiber called Red Harvest. However, that book is about a zombie virus as well (the only difference is that it takes places during the Old Republic!) and I wouldn’t read another Star Wars novel by Joe Schreiber if it was about the Yeti of planet Hoth (Though BigFoot on Endor could be interesting…).